July 11, 2010

Chicken Nugget Poo

Two weeks ago today, the girls and I had a little adventure. It was called, "Let's get ready to go to Church and do nursery - In 15 minutes". AMP was away in Germany, and I was single parenting, which I must say seems very easy for my fabulous drill sergeant husband and horribly overwhelming for me. I did get them both fed by 8:30 (service starts at 9) and got Chicken Little talked into wearing my favorite dress of hers, despite the fact that the giant bow on it needed to be pinned on one side, which I promised to do at some point before we left the house. Anyway, I hopped in the shower, and typical mom fashion, started calling out instructions to Chicken Little to undress Chicken Nugget and bring her to me in the bathroom. The following is a transcript of the next five minutes.
Sharp screaming
"What's wrong?"
"She took off her diaper! Mom, there is poo on the floor....Mom, she is touching, Oh no, Mom, she touched it." More hysterical screaming.
"Do not let her eat it!! Take her away, Keep her away...Bring her here! Now!"
Pitter Patter of tiny poo-covered feet.
Naked Baby joins me in shower and after cleaning both of us up, I venture out of the bathroom to survey the damage. A trail of pooprints wind down the hallway, into the girls' room and straight back to that offending diaper with it's slightly smashed load. I wrap a towel around my hair and dash to the back porch for cleaning supplies, all the while Chicken Nugget is chasing me and pointing, saying "Naket Mamma, Naket Mamma!" Of course curtains are open throughout the house, but I do not let this stop me - I briefly considered an army crawl, but who could really actually do that? - and figure a fast dash will suffice. I turn around in the kitchen, with the Resolve in one hand, the paper towels in the other hand, and there stands Chicken Little blocking my path. "Mamma, can you pin my dress now?"
"Well, I am naked, there is poo on the floor in your room, and we are supposed to be at church in 5 minutes? Do you think the pin is going to happen right now?"
Hysterical laughing ensues from both us.
We actually made it to church, dressed, pinned and poo free by 9:09.


Guida said...

this is the best story yet.

Jo said...

I agree with Guida, AND I can hear your voice, and Kidist voice while reading this. Seriously, I have to put you in touch with a publisher!

Jon and Jamie said...

Love this story, and remember it fondly on the days when I am astreakin' trying to beat the AMP to the door, fully clothed so as to not freak him out and lose my fave babies!!! too funny and very"nest" worthy I think;-)