October 16, 2010

Potty Talk

A friend of mine posted on Facebook that there are 18x more germs on a cell phone than on a public restroom seat. At some point in the sea of mundane comments about how nasty this was (mine included), someone made the insightful comment that we should then start grabbing cell phones out of the mouths of toddlers, and handing them toilet seats. I say all this because this reminded me of the grossest and funniest deChicken story ever. Prepare yourself - this is a seriously gross, stomach-turning story - weak stomachs, and germaphobes please exit here.

Last year, I went on a trip to Europe in February, right after Chicken Nugget really got her feet under her and started toddling in full force. AMP always likes to come up to the airport and pick me up when I come back from an overseas trip, so he packed the girls up in the car and headed up to get me (he is super-dad still at this part of the story. In true AMP form, he went to the wrong terminal, so I ended up waiting for a few minutes outside baggage claim. When they showed up finally, Chicken Little looked horrified and excited, in the way only a 5 year old can. AMP looked, well ill, and Chicken Nugget looked happy as a clam. Kisses all around, and as I carried Chicken Nugget to the car, I asked why they were so late. AMP of course confessed the terminal confusion (and his terminal state of confusion), and then unloaded the rest of this on me:

AMP: "So, ummmm, Chicken Little had to pee right when we got here."
Me: "Okay"- searching look
AMP: Rubbing his face with his hands first, he says "Well, I took them into the men's room, and then I had to help Chicken Little with her button. I didn't realize Chicken Nugget could move so fast yet, so when I looked up, she was over by the urinals and was holding 'baa-boo' (her pacifer) in her hand."
Me: "Okay" - confused and slightly concerned look
AMP: Swallow - "She dipped it, in the urinal...."
Me: "Noooo"
Chicken Little piping in : ".....and she put it right back in her mouth! After she swished it around in the boy potty!"
Chicken Nugget: Just staring at me with the happiest little smirk on her face.

So the moral of this story is, please don't be concerned about the germs on your cell phone. My one year old happily survived the airport urinal.


JAH said...

what is up with your family and bathroom stories?! Ewww!!

MaryJo said...

Henry loves this story! He likes to bring it up at dinner.